More About Change

On Sunday our Midday Service had a ritual that focused on forgiveness. We were asked to write something we wanted to let go of on a piece of white paper with a water color marker. Then we brought our paper to a bowl on the alter and dropped it in so that the ink slowly dissolved. I thought about a lot of things I wanted to be rid of at the start of this new year, but found I could sum them all up with, "Attachment to that which was not, is not, or cannot be." The Buddhists believe that all of our suffering is a result of our attachments. Certainly attachment to things past often keeps us from enjoying or even dealing with the present situation. Pain from the past remembered in the present brings suffering in the here and now. Old resentments not only cause suffering for us but for others around us.

I like the story of the wise teacher who dealt with the grudges of his students by telling them to write the names of all those they were angry with on a raw potato and carry the potatoes with them in a burlap bag until they could forgive. Not only did the bags grow heavy, they began to smell pretty awful. That is what happens when we carry resentments and anger with us; it pollutes our present and makes us unpleasant for others to be around. Even being unable to forgive our own short comings keeps us attached to past mistakes instead of making a new start in the present.

It is not hard to know when we are attached to things from the past. It is harder to know when we are attached to that which is not. Our inability to perceive the present is often affected by our attachments to worn out concepts developed in the past, prejudices, habits, and perceptions that we have failed to update with a fresh look. Often we fail to see what is because we do not want to face the truth. Sharing perceptions with others can often help us see things more clearly. One is reminded of the story of the four blind men feeling the elephant.

One felt the trunk, one the tail, one a leg, one another part, and each got a different perception of what an elephant is. Only by sharing their perceptions could they get a true picture of the whole animal. Our attachment to a false perception of our present situation may keep us from enjoying it or dealing with it in the best way possible. Another story that I like is a Zen story about a man being chased by a tiger. When he comes to a cliff, he goes over edge to avoid the tiger and grabs a branch on the way down. At the bottom is another tiger waiting for him. While hanging by the branch, he sees a beautiful strawberry growing within reach. A strawberry never tasted so good! Had the man been concerned about the tiger in the past or the tiger in the future he may never seen let alone enjoyed the strawberry in the present.

Attachment to anticipated events in the future is even harder to detect. Certainly it is important to plan and to some extent use the present to prepare for our future. The problem comes when we become so attached to our ideas about the future that we fail to appreciate the present. It is also hard to know when working hard for something in the present will bring the results we expect in the future. In dealing with my anxiety of the future, I often meditate on the AA serenity prayer. God grant me the courage to change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference.

Attachments to things that were not, are not, and cannot be, keep us from enjoying what is and stop us from making needed changes to deal with the life we have in the here and now.